In the spirit of Bill Maher’s HBO show “Real Time,” here are some new rules that need to be enacted within the sports media world:

New Rule No. 1: If coaches and players use their children as human shields, they should be required to always do so, no matter the kids’ ages.

Eagles coach Nick Sirianni brought his three kids to the interview room Sunday, after his team struggled to beat the lowly Browns. According to a column by Philly.com’s Mike Sielski, none of the three is older than 9.

Certainly it seemed like an attempt on Sirianni’s part to blunt any criticism of his team’s performance, and his behavior during the game. In the closing minutes he reportedly screamed at fans who berated him and the team; Sielski also reported that the coach yapped at some of the Browns.

By all accounts, Sirianni’s attempt to hide behind his kids didn’t work; he fielded the same questions he would have fielded otherwise. So good on my reporter brethren in the Philly market.

And certainly he’s not the first coach or player to pull this cringe-worthy stunt, whether in an attempt to calm the waters or portray himself as Father of the Year. So I would propose this: If you’re gonna do it when the kids are in elementary school, you should also have to do so when they are in high school.

Imagine that. We would have teens seated alongside their famous fathers and rolling their eyes, checking their phones and interjecting at inappropriate times. Maybe Sirianni would talk up a player or express his appreciation for the passion of the fan base, for example.

“That’s NOT what you said last night,” his bored teen would say.

All those in favor, say “aye.”

Motion carries.

New Rule No. 2: If as a coach or player you weren’t willing to work WITH the media, you shall not be able to work IN the media afterward.

Lookin’ at you, Bill Belichick. Nick Saban and Marshawn Lynch to some degree as well, but definitely Mr. We’re-on-to-Cincinnati.

Turns out Belichick has a lot to say, now that he’s shed his armless hoodies for more suitable attire. When he was talking about the Jets on the ManningCast during Buffalo’s victory over Team Aaron Rodgers on Monday night, he honed in on the ineptitude of owner Woody Johnson, saying that when it came to major decisions, Johnson has been “ready, fire, aim.”

Of course Belichick has an ax to grind when it comes to the Jets. He served as their head coach for exactly one day in January 2000, then for years beat them like a drum as New England’s coach.

But whatever he felt about that was usually kept under wraps, as was everything else. There were exceptions; former Lebanon Daily News sportswriter Andrew Callahan, who now covers the Patriots for the Boston Herald, has said that at certain points during game weeks, Belichick can be a delight, expounding upon everything from Walter Payton to Wonderlic tests to the Wing-T.

Also of note was Belichick’s zinger after the Patriots beat the Eagles in Super Bowl 39 in Jacksonville in February 2005. Freddie Mitchell, the Birds’ mouthy backup wide receiver, had made some pointed remarks about New England’s secondary in the days leading up to the game, and Belichick was locked and loaded afterward.

“All he does is talk,” he said of Mitchell in an interview with Sports Illustrated. “He’s terrible, and you can print that. I was happy when he was in the game.”

Mostly, though, Belichick was about monosyllables and grunts in his dealings with The Fourth Estate. Now, he’s associated with not only the ManningCast but five other media entities, as he awaits his next coaching opportunity.

Fine. The guy has the right to make a living. But would it have killed him to be a little more cooperative in his previous incarnation? It reminds me of when the late Bob Knight became a studio analyst for ESPN, the difference being that Knight said very little of consequence during his time on the air.

So let’s get this rule on the books, too.

New Rule No. 3: Some old rules should be grandfathered in for those of us who happen to be, well, grandfatherly.

I say this after traveling to the Basketball Hall of Fame induction ceremony this past weekend. The news conference for the inductees was held Saturday at the Mohegan Sun Casino in Uncasville, Conn., an hour away from the HOF in Springfield, Mass. The actual induction ceremony came the following night at the Springfield Symphony Hall.

The interview session was also televised, meaning any question asked of the inductees by myself or others was immediately available for public consumption. And that there was only time for a limited number of queries.

Look, I get it. I don’t love it, but I get it.

We live in an age of immediacy. But it wasn’t all that long ago – 2018, in fact – when I could sit at a table in the Hall itself with Maurice Cheeks the day before his own induction and just, well, talk. Which is how Cheeks, forever a reluctant interview subject, always prefers it anyway.

At one point I mentioned that his former coach, the notoriously hard-driving Billy Cunningham, said Cheeks always played as if someone was looking over his shoulder.

“Yeah,” Cheeks said with a chuckle. “Him.”

It was the kind of reaction you only get in a small, quiet setting. And, well, moment of silence for that.

Anyway, we’ll take that potential rule change to the veterans committee. The others, though, are hereby submitted for immediate implementation. Really looking forward to it.